oh, that infinite feeling. a selfish update

these past two days i've had a few moments where i've just felt infinite

1. "do you wanna just sing a long?" "fuck it"
the moment we started singing along to paramore and danced like complete idiots. it was a moment we stopped acting like music elitists and just went with our gut feeling.

2. trading places so i could see better.
sometimes little things mean so much. i felt perfect in that moment.

3. when the lights kept flickering before no doubt went on stage.
you told me everything would be okay and i believed you.

4. when no doubt actually came on stage.
we shared a knowing tooth filled grin and fucking rocked it.

5. the brody dale obsession.
that whole fight was just ridiculous and hilarious.

6. "so what's your story?" "oh you have no idea..."

7. spiderwebs was their first song. telephonic invasion.

8. throughout the set we drifted further, but your hand kept us from completely falling apart. you squeezed my hand during just the right parts. running was completely perfect. that song has always meant a lot to me. AND GWEN LOOKED RIGHT AT ME FOR PART OF THE CHORUS!!!

9. katelyn. we coaxed your tears via text because we couldn't get on lawn to hug you forever. i'll never forget what she did to you. glad you guys are okay now though. (not that you read this)

10. toward the end of the set you looked back at me and mouthed i love you.

11. the car ride home. comforting. my hair always gets in the way. i'm sorry.

12. the car ride tonight. i love adam so much. just these people who have become my bestfriends in the span of a month. it's been crazy and ridiculous but i'd be nothing without them. blasting modest mouse with the windows down was just perfect. mackenzie, katelyn, adam and x. i love you.

13. "EX. ASIA." "KATE. LIN" "WOMAN" "WOOOOMB-AN" "SQUAW!" "OH SHIT SHIT SHIT DAMN CAILEE NO YOU DIDN'T BITCH" "YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE." "yeah you are..." "BITCH" "BITCH" "YOU'RE...AN ASSHOLE" "i love you" "i love you too" "AWWH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

14. Oh! one more! when we went crazy during ex-girlfriend, just a girl, and sunday morning. and most of the songs. that was just sososofun. haha and during just a girl gwen was like "where are all my chicago boys!!" and she was like now don't mess this up now! i want you to repeat after me: "I'M JUST A GIRL" and most of them yelled "I'M JUST A GIRL" back and Tony was just laughing his ass off. and gwen was like "wow, usually that turns out like shit but you guys were actually good at it"

15. when everyone screamed like fucking crazy for an encore for a solid 10 minutes. the screaming didn't stop. you were like "wow, this energy is insane" they came out again and played rock steady. tony looked out into the crowd at everyone swaying their hands and singing back just beaming. it was incredible. i can't even describe the feeling i had during that song.

16. adrian wearing a pink tutu when they played their encore. stand and deliver was fun. they ended with sunday morning and at the end they all joined hands and stood at the end of the stage and took a bow. tom took his cup and kicked it and it splashed all over. such a perfect night.

this has definitely been the best summer. although i didn't like that you took a drag. that upset me a bit. but who am i to say what you can and cannot do. the rarity drives me crazy. mostly in a good way. among other things.