sometimes i think im going to regret staying that extra semester senior year. but i mean, what will i do in the mean time anyway? im afraid that ill just push things back and get lazy if im not constantly in school. i wont even make the much money in those months anyway, at least in retrospect. if i could go right to depaul then i would do it. all i know is that im just so ready to settle down and start my life with you. i dont want to go to school anymore. i just want to be able to become a psychologist my own way and settle down with you. thats all i need to be happy. i honestly dont think school is going to make me better at helping people solve their problems. that isnt even really about knowledge or talent. its just about the willingness to listen and be there for somebody. i believe that i can really help people. i want to. because thats what i know im supposed to do. i just want these years of schooling to go by fast. im weird in that way, i dont crave those crazy college years. i just want to settle down. that makes me happy. not booze and pot and random sex. sure, it makes me happy in the moment, but it ends up leaving me so incredibly broken in the end. but i guess the years dont have to go by so fast if im with you. the time that im not with you just needs to go by fast. that's all that matters to me anymore. it feels so right. deep breaths.